OMG O RLY? YA RLY !!!1!!!1!!!

Tired

2007-04-29T15:37:00.000-07:00

thats all. Just tired. sleeping after the end of the draft was fun. :-)

Just back from Indiana for the week.

2007-04-21T19:15:00.000-07:00

Wow. Being in a hotel room with the same person for three weeks is a true test of all things in me.*whew* I mean, anyone who knows me knows i am the kind of person that needs space and alone time every so often. Or, all the time. Muncie, Indiana, home of Ball state, Jokers Wild, and the glorious... i wanted to put down a restaurant or bar with good food, but, nothing sticks out. The Rib Cage was ok, but, nothing notable, nothing worth recommending. Not being able to drink is my one great gift, and my one great killer. Their is nothing for me to do on the road, and this going out to the bar and sitting around shit isn't working out for me. What benefits do i get out of sitting around and missing out on four hours of sleep? None. I am dreading the return to Indiana. I am not a person that enjoys leaving my home for extended amounts of time. i see it as, a sort of refueling station. I can only be gone so long before i start to drag and crash. It is nice to be completely familiar and safe with your surroundings, and to feel at peace with where you lay down for the night, ALONE.

As for how i am spending this time home, well... it isnt great. I am glad i got my new glasses. Truly am. Im glad they were cheap. Well, less expensive. I am also glad i paid my other bills off. *sigh* I just wish i had, i don't know... LESS TO PAY. I also wish more money could be spent on making me happy. I am extremely upset about getting hoed out by Allison. I doubt she understands, or cares, about how I am affected by actions such as hers, but, i refuse to compromise. Regardless, what she did was at very least, disrespectful to a friend. How hard is a phone call? How hard is it to take the out i give you? I truly don't care about her friendship anymore if thats what it will entail. This is the second time I have tried to make plans with her and failed. It makes me wonder why i bother tying, and it makes me wary of planning anything further with her. Why stress myself out further over something so trivial as hanging with someone who doesn't care one way or another? I don't know. The more time i give it in my mind, the unhappier it makes me, so now i put it away, and wait to see what m0ve she makes next. To make matters worse, today, i didn't buy a ticket in time, and now i have no concert to go to, as writing this will attest to. BAH! No card game also. what a waste of a weekend. Its enough to make me... indifferent. HA!!! Does anyone get the joke? No? Bah.

This Dierks Bentley CD is pretty dang good. I'm glad i got it, even though i coulda bought all three and been three times as happy. But their was no way i was passing on Al Green, or the Strauss. I needed the Paisley. I gotta keep the if buying multiple non-new release CD's, i must restock lost ones in effect. MUST. Back to Dierks. I like the theme of needing someone to lean on and wanting someone to share life with in a few of his songs, reffering mainly right now to Long Trip Alone and Uhm... this one. With this line... When a man wants to be with a woman, their is no way of getting their to fast. Nice. Makes me sad. Good sad. Bad sad. Both sads. If people can't tell how incredibly lonely and incomplete i feel, thats on them. I oddly take certain things about horoscopes way more seriously than i should, but i KNOW the part about a libra, or me, not feeling right alone, completely ead on. But maybe i only feel that way because im, in Al Greens words, Tired of being alone. I dont know. I know that im 25, and i wish i wasn't alone, but i know that im not the person that the person I want would ever want. Not implying that their is a specific person i want, but, I know the type of girl i want, most likely would, or should, not want me in my current state. The heart and soul are their, but im a dead beat loser ass salvager with no license, tons of bills, and a not so sunny exterior. Any takers? :-) I cuddle well.

WTF Thursday, January 26, 2006

2007-03-31T12:03:00.000-07:00

Ok. So everyone knows that im a fuck up... but no one knows why. Well we won't get into WHY today... maybe someday. But dammit. We sure wil get into what a FUCKING FUCK UP I am. I LOST my FUCKING GLASSES in a 25 foot walk from my car to a door. I lost them. Gone. Looked in the icy cold for a while. Couldnt find em. How? I mean... i undderstand the OBVIOUS HUMOR ABOUT LOOKING FOR MY GLASSES WITH NO GLASSES!!! Ha fucking Ha me. imma dummy. But I took it to a new level tonight.*sigh* I dont wanna get all... Whats the word i'm looking for... Far... no... uhmm... FUCK! what word? DAMMIT! Thoughtful... Introspective... FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! im to damn flustered to think of a good word to describe... but i don't wanna say i lost my glasses because of some divine shit. Cuz i didn't. Although i know like... 3 reasons its good to have lost them. I lost them cuz im not a very careful person when it comes to material things. thats why i crash cars... rip clothes, and thats why i cut myself shaving constantly. Things that can be replaced by money or physically healed aren't all important. That's why i cant be to worried or upset at the loss. But the carelessness and inconvienience? THATS WHY IM PISSED! I hate the eyeglass people. Fucking assheads. Well. If neone reads this... Go look for my glasses. Send me a message and ill tell you where i was so you can look. :-) Don't want people knowing to much about without asking. :-( Oh. And mark my words. If anyone reads down this far... Im not smoking anymore pot for a long while. Call me out on it. Doubt me. Make fun of me. Do something. Make me remember that im not supposed to smoke anymore. More weed for the rest of yah i guess. But mother fucker, this shit is expensive, and if i may point out again... I LOST MY FUCKING GLASSES!!! AFTER LIKE 4 MONTHS! I didnt lose my glasses but once wheni was a kid. So what the hell is wrong with me now. I don't wanna say im getting stupider. And now i wait. My mother just returned from Florida and wants to tell me about it. And Im Soned. So refer to my earlier request. Goodnight

Random... again. Wednesday, January 25, 2006

2007-03-29T20:01:00.001-07:00

AH HA! iI learn something new every fucking day. Now i can make this thing all sorts of pretty colors. I wonder if people read random blogs on random myspace accounts. 6:56 pm on the day before thursday... and i clean vigorously. The purpose? None. The outcome? Shoddy. The feeling of accomplishment? GRAND!!!! I sure do love to clean. Makes everything pass by so quickly. One more day down. THANK GOD for music. If only i could do something cool... like make it. Or steal it... which could possibly be easier... wow... startling revalation... I'm reading this as i write it... and this is what it sounds like in my head when i talk to myself all day at work. Interesting.. If im going to randomly spout shit off and type it to bytes... then do i need puncuation grammar spelling and blah blah blah? Eh. Who knows. Someone read this so i feel important. And if anyone with cookies is out there... call me. We'll talk. I got the milk.

My first blog post EVER! January 24th 2006

2007-03-29T19:57:00.001-07:00

This is what we call a blog apparently. It is tuesday night and i am about to go to my same old same oldevery tuesday f'n bar. How sad. I will go and stare ata TV watching a basketball game i dont care about... while i try to act uninterested in a girl i find very interesting. What a stupid catch 22. If i Dig the dame... shouldnt i talk to her and ask her out? Unfortunately... If i do two things can happen. Both bad. She can say yes... and if things go well i have to find a new bar. Or she can say no... and I face rejection... or even more cowardly... pretend i was drunk and joking. The truly bad thing... is if i sit and say nothing... i'll just stew in my anger. Wait... why is that so bad. I knda like to stew. So its decided. I wont talk to her. And hopefully... Something weird and unpredictable happens. Who knows. Life is what life is. At the most base level... just particles. All of us and everything are made of the same shit.

First post? Excellent. It shall be short.

2007-03-29T19:52:00.000-07:00

This is my first BLOGGER blog. I'm tired tonight, I am upset at my SCRAM tether, and I need a shower, which I am afraid to take, for fear of violating probation. (Stupid story.)

this will be a short post, as I have some things to do... i will be posting old blogs from Myspace for a bit, from oldest to newest... they will be verbatim, to, how do you say, preserve integrity? I will hopefully adding new ones in here as well. The reason, should you care, that i have chosen to switch over from there to here, is

1. To see if anyone without a link to my site reads these things.

2. See what comments strangers may have.

3. So no one who has a link to my Myspace can read these, unless i tell them how to find them.

4. Because this just looks nicer than my crappy Myspace page.

I had another reason, but i thought of number 2 while i had it... so it is now forever lost. With this, i shall post an old blog or two, and be done. I' sure as i get more comfortable with this site, things will look... Snazzier?

... and nothing is publishing...

...and now it is...